When Georgia O’Keefe moved from New York to New Mexico, she signed letters back to her loved ones across the country, “From the faraway nearby.” Distant, but still so close. Far and near, it can all be true.
I haven’t updated this blog in a year and a half, but I’ve thought of it often. For a while I thought I’d walked away for good, but people I’ve crossed paths with—friends and strangers—have continued to inexplicably bring it back into my awareness. From emails across the world to new friends stumbling across it, again and again it has surfaced. It has always come back to me. Reading one of these emails or hearing someone say “I found your blog and I love it” always got me asking silently, “What is this about??? Isn’t that chapter closed?” I guess not. I’ve taken to paying attention to what comes into my field and Coffee & Insulin has been ceaseless. Don’t get me wrong… I’ve always loved writing here, but at some point I ran out of things I felt inspired to say. The energy I once had for it was gone. I got bored with the story. Then I moved to the mountains…
The past year has been a whirlwind of growth, change, challenge, expansion, and surrender. I moved to Asheville, North Carolina last March and spent 6 months studying plant medicine in the ancient Appalachian mountains. I’ve camped, hiked, harvested, swam, and prayed my heart out around here. I’ve turned 27, taken a bunch of beach trips, let a job that didn’t inspire me, and started one that does while also giving me the freedom to work on some other projects (!!!). I continue to deepen into Spirit, sobriety, and simplicity. I began taking a good, long look at the stories I’ve told myself about my own life and how they have served me (or not.) I tell myself some new stories now, more honest, more uplifting, more true. Acknowledging that I am not a victim, to diabetes or any life circumstance, has set me free.
It is also why I’ve been absent here. I’ve been working out my relationship with T1D daily, offline, in my body, and in my heart. When I stopped writing here, it was partly because I was feeling increasingly confused and frustrated as to why I was getting a lot of *sad face* reactions to my posts… I wanted to bring hope, but I didn’t realize that I couldn’t give away something I didn’t have, and underneath anything else I wrote about living with type 1 diabetes, there was always fear and frustration. So, of course, it translated that way. We can’t hide in our own writing.
This year has been a huge shift in the way I interact with every aspect of my life. I believe deeply that every one of us has the ability to heal that which we perceive to hurt us. We are all free, despite circumstances, labels, and conditions. Right now I’m in the process of radically shifting my diabetes management (aka probably getting an insulin pump after 13 years of injections and thinking ‘I NEVER WANT A PUMP,’ something has shifted and I’m open to trying it now… eeeeek!) I’ve missed the diabetes online community and conversation (and in-person hangs even more so.) I have an exciting project underway, and with it, I will need your help!!! More soon! Much Love.
ps — I am active on Instagram (@coffeeandinsulin) and am trying to get better at sharing those posts on the Facebook page which also needs some love in general. I’ll get there. I still also have email — [ coffeeandinsulin @ gmail . com ] but I’m honestly not great at replying. Email at your own risk is what I’m saying and don’t roll your eyes if my response reaches you in November. Love!